The Social Media Dilemma

Before launching my blog, I couldn’t have cared less about social media. I posted on instagram once every two months, my only Facebook posts were Instagram shares, and I was very anti-selfie. In fact, I dismissed those who were selfie inclined and social media active as shallow and self-absorbed.

Well, look at me now. I’m posting on Instagram and Facebook 3-5 times a week (which is still infrequent in the blogging world) and the posts are pretty much just photos of me. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge others

Social media has become an inevitable priority of Honeydew, and it is one which which I have developed a love-hate relationship. On one hand, social media allows me to reach thousands of new users with the use of a hashtag, gain new blog readers, and connect with other like-minded creatives. On the other hand, it’s a SOUL-SUCKING, TIME-CONSUMING VORTEX OF DOOM TO WHICH THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

Inhale. Exhale.

That may have been a slight overreaction, but social media has truly become the most painstaking part of blogging for me, partly because it makes me feel out of my element, but mostly because I’ve found myself developing an obsession for it.

Once I overcame my aversion to frequent social posting, I started to get sucked into the numbers. What is my follower count? How many likes am I getting? How many comments? I’ve wasted a lot of time over analyzing my social posts, trying to figure out how to grow my following and get more likes. I felt absolutely elated at every new follow and like, but completely discouraged with every un-follow and every post with low engagement. Even worse, social media started becoming a catalyst for self-doubt when I saw bloggers with more beautiful imagery and much higher followings. 

I just caught myself speaking in past tense – as if these feelings and are far behind me in the three shorts months since I’ve started blogging. But the truth is, I still struggle with managing a healthy balance of using social media to support Honeydew without getting too wrapped up in the superficiality of it. So what’s a girl to do? In the three short months since I’ve been blogging, I’ve decided to set several social media guidelines guidelines for myself .

I will stay true to myself

Though frequent posting on social media may not feel natural to me, I’ve found peace through integrating my personality in my pictures and staying true to myself. Take this instagram post as an example, where I supplement a modelesque posed photo with a caption about pooping. ↓

I admit, pre-blogger Jenn would have scoffed at a vain picture like this. But I took advantage of the caption and made sure my personality broke through the clicheness of the picture. While it’s tempting to copy what other successful bloggers are doing, I’m finding ways to make social media work with me instead. I’m ensuring I don’t lose site of who I am.

I will focus on quality over quantity

All the blogging experts say you need to post on instagram once or twice a day to maximize engagement and continuously gain followers. It makes sense, right? For others to see and follow your content, you have to produce new content daily. But posting that often still seems obnoxious to me.

I definitely have a few instagram posts that I regret publishing. These are the ones where I scoured my photo library for new pictures to upload on instagram and slap on a quick caption, just to meet the daily posting quota. But these posts didn’t add value to my personal story. And they look forced – because they were!

I realized that at this point in time, I don’t feel I can produce original content daily that is actually valuable to my readers. If one day, I feel I have the time, capacity, and creativity to do so, I will! But for now, I’m staying true to my gut by ignoring the industry guidelines and posting on my own schedule. I’m prioritizing producing quality content rather than posting just to succumb to the pressures of posting daily, just because that’s what all the successful bloggers are doing.

I will take the occasional social media detox

Over memorial day weekend, I took a much needed social media detox. I spent the long weekend at a friend’s lake house in Northern Wisconsin and didn’t open Facebook or Instagram once. I also didn’t post anything on social media for a full seven days! It felt amazing. The break reminded me that social media is a fantasy world of other people’s highlight reels. It’s not reality. Instead of getting lost in other people’s social media facades, I focused on the reality of my own life. I enjoyed the outdoors, fostered real-life relationships, and didn’t spend one second worrying about what thousands of strangers thought of me. I’m definitely going to make the social media detox a regular thing. 

I cannot deny the countless benefits and opportunities of social media. And I will admit, posting can be fun and rewarding too! Therefore, social media will remain a key component to growing Honeydew. However, moving forward I vow to be more conscious of how I let social media affect my goals, my confidence, and my idea of reality.

Has anyone else found other successful methods of finding a healthy social media balance? I’d love to hear!

Text pic

dress: Shein
sandals: Forever21
earrings: Amazon (similar, similar)

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36 Replies to “The Social Media Dilemma”

  1. I know what you mean! I don’t want to constantly be on my phone when enjoying time with family and friends and special trips. But at the same time, I enjoy posting. Definitely important to find a balance! I do the detox thing too and step away. And I stick with the guideline of not posting a pic ‘just because’.

    1. Exactly. So glad we see eye to eye and you use the same methods as me!

  2. I totally feel you on this one and I’m so glad you feel more rejuvenated after your hiatus! Can’t wait to see what you have in store ❤️❤️

    1. You get me, girl. Social media can be such a struggle sometimes. Thanks for reading! <3

  3. Rules are key to social media sanity and you’ve picked some good ones! I totally understand how you feel. It’s so hard not to get sucked in when it is an important and honorable part of being a blogger. Good luck!

  4. Social media can be quite consuming especially for bloggers! I love that you stay true to yourself, and focus on creating quality work 🙂

    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Bernice! It’s definitely not easy juggling everything!

  5. Hi Jenn!

    Love everything about this! I made my declaration last year to not allow likes and follower counts to bog me down and put me on an emotional rollercoaster. I said to myself, “Self, you don’t live your life for the likes, so why do it on social media???” And that helped to release me of the vicious cycle. Its interesting I have this internal struggle, when companies reach out to work with me I am weary. I don’t want to just sell things to people, I want to add value to their lives. It can be hard to strike that balance but I am actively learning everyday. It’s a journey for sure but if I can inspire just one person then it is all worth it.

    1. I’m in the same boat, Erica! It can be tough to stay focused on your content when we’re all in this social media battle to gain the most followers and likes. Love the idea of thinking the blog is all worth it if we can inspire just one person! <3

  6. Such a cute outfit. I love when you can twirl in a dress too! You made such ex lent points and I was just like you and now I can’t get off. Thanks for these tips though and what a lovely blog post.

  7. Social media can be such a weird roller coaster for promoting your blog. On one hand, it’s important not to let the “likes” and “comments” define your sense of self-worth; but when you’re using your own photos to further the blog and brand, it can feel like they’re *exactly* a measurement of your worth.

    1. Oops, didn’t finish my comment! I LOVE the tips you posted for overcoming this, though. Staying true to yourself, taking detoxes, and making sure your personality shines through is key to managing that emotionality. Thank you for posting this!

      1. Preach, girl! I totally agree and am so glad you found the post helpful! <3

  8. These pictures are adorable! I love your dress 🙂 Regarding social media, I do agree with you and am trying to include a detox from time to time.

  9. Nice post—it’s important to find a balance and remain true to yourself all at the same time! I have yet to find that balance—I love Instagram—I love posting pics and advertising for brands I support—-I just wish I could do it full time and quit my other gig, lol!

    1. The balance is definitely one of the hardest parts. Juggling a blog, social media, AND a full time blog is exhausting. I feel ya, girl!

  10. Love this post – so true and so good! I have to agree with much of what you said. I think one of the healthiest balances is to take time away from it and not be too consumed with all the rules. The best and the most crucial rule I believe is staying true to you. Thanks so much for sharing.


  11. I can totally relate to the struggle. It’s so hard to find a balance between being authentic and growing your audience through social media. There are so many “right ways” to do things that it’s hard not to get caught up in all the tips and tricks.

  12. love the print on this dress, is so fun and pretty!

  13. Gorgeous dress!! This is the prettiest floral print! A perfect warm weather outfit!

  14. I love this post! I completely feel you when it comes to social media being a vortex that sucks you in and how stressful it can be when you look at the numbers. I found the same, that as long as you are having fun, being yourself and not taking it too seriously I really enjoy it. I love your beautiful photo and then your comment about poop lol.

    1. So glad you can relate and I’m not the only one that feels that way! And you can always rely on me to bring poop into a conversation. 🙂

  15. I really loved reading this post, because you made some very true statements! I sometimes feel the same. And getting to focused on the numbers really takes the fun away! Thanks so much for sharing, it really made me think :about this topis 🙂
    A l i n a //

  16. These are some really great tips/ways of going about social media and blogging. I definitely have felt frustrated with social media and numbers as well from time to time. Also, your outfits are so beautiful in all of these photos!

  17. I’m so glad to hear this from another blogger! I feel like I just don’t have the time, money, or enough creativity to constantly produce content for my social media like a lot of big bloggers have. I’ve felt like my blog will go nowhere without it, but your post makes me feel so much better! I’m glad I’m not the only one!!

  18. I totally know how your feeling! I just took a week off from social media and it was the best thing ever.
    xx- Nina

  19. Helena Marz says: Reply

    I totally agree with you girl! We all definitely need a break from social media’s from time to time to enjoy life and there is more to life than being on social media constantly. It can be bad especially we tend to compare ourselves to someone who is doing really well and have huge following, etc… I try my best to be the best I can be and work hard to get where l need to be with my blogging. Thank you for sharing this uplifting blog❤️ Xo

  20. I absolutely love this! And I totally agree. It’s such a tough balance, because in the social media world, there’s ALWAYS more you can be doing, because it’s always at the touch of a button in your pocket. And with two little kids, it’s a struggle, because they’re my job too, and I don’t want them to constantly see me glued to my phone. When my 2 year old first told me “no phone,” I knew it was time for my intervention. It’s still a daily struggle, though.

    xxx Kristina

  21. Social media can be so time consuming and it’s hard to find a balance. I struggle too with being so concerned about how many followers and/or likes I get. It could drive me crazy, if I continue to be hung up on it. It’s nice to take a break and not get so wrapped up in worrying about posting constantly!

  22. This dress is so beautiful on you JENN! I love what you shared on this post. I feel the exact same way! For someone who just recently started you are learning quick and quite insightful on how to balance all of this well. Thank you for sharing your pearls of wisdom!
    xo Debbie |

  23. this is so timely for me to read because not even kidding you, minutes ago i thought “i need to get myself together because instagram is really messing with my emotions!” it’s hard not to let engagement affect you when your instagram is an extension of you and your brand, especially when stupid things like shadowbanning happens but don’t get me started on that topic! i want so badly for my blog and ig to succeed but i need to find a way to be content throughout the social media ups and downs. thanks for the tips 🙂

  24. Wow, it’s like you took the words right out of my mouth. I recently started blogging about a month ago and I have these exact same feelings about social media. It doesn’t feel natural to me to post 1-2x per day, ESPECIALLY photos of myself. It’s definitely out of my comfort zone and I do find myself wondering “okay, what random pic can I pull out of my library or what random pic can I take so that I can at least post one thing today?” It’s stressful! Glad to know I’m not the only one and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for the inspiring post.

    1. And you just took the words right out of MY mouth! Totally can relate with scouring my photo library for a picture to post. I think the most important thing is establishing priorities and goals with social media, instead of arbitrarily posting every day just because you’re being told you should.

  25. This floral dress is so beautiful. It looks great on you. Finding a balance with social media can be hard. I totally get what you are saying.

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